I remember once, during the phase I was going through.
Told them both that I don't feel as if i know them
Almost as if they're strangers to me
They never really tell me about their past, or get into much detail about it
Fun times they had, or anything. We never even spent any time together when I was growing up.
They were always the two people who fed, and clothed me.
But I just don't feel a real connection between us.
Nor any of my siblings, except two.
I honestly couldn't tell you much about them if someone was to ask me.
Same goes for my parents pretty much.
My dad is 65, Mom is 50. So I was sort of a..."Saying goodbye to our youth present" Into old age.
Needless to say, we didn't play much together growing up. As they were already passed their prime.
I start to question it though, maybe it's a double edged blade that I don't really feel a strong connection towards them.
For one, the rule kind of applies to a stranger/a person who you've never met but seen dead on the news.
It's like, you feel for the person, but you probably won't be too sad because there's no connection to the person.
When my grandparents died, I was pretty young, and didn't know them very well.
So I really didn't know how to feel, just looking around and seeing people cry.
But let's say I did have a very strong connection to both of them.
The day that comes, when they both die. I'd be devastated.
That's never something "fun" to feel, some people get depressed and kill their self over that kind of stuff.
Where as, if the connection isn't there, then I wouldn't be devastated.
It's a pretty hard choice to call...So at the same time I'm glad that
I am/have been isolated from contact with most people on even temporary occasions.
At least if they die, I won't be sad, right? I think I read something about this in some religion
Can't quite remember.
Either way, I've been trying to get a little more of a bond with at least my father.
Heavy smoker, and (was) a heavy drinker. So I'm not sure how much time he has left.
Same goes with Mom.
Might as well make 'em happy while I can.
Never know how much you'll miss someone till they're gone.